Selena Gomez: Hitman outsourced a murder to hitman, who hired hitman, who hired hitman, who hired hitman
Ashley Roberts: $2M worth of free weed waiting for its rightful owner… Have you lost or misplaced approximately 770 pounds of Marijuana?
Nicola Cavanis: ‘Putin’ is now a dirty word — ‘Poutine’ has just been Renamed as ‘la frite fromage sauce’ in Canada
Chloe Dykstra: NY Mayor Eric Adams decries Crappy Justice System after Feces Smearer Released without Bail
Katy Marchant: Adult Streamer offers employees private Pods to MASTURBATE, complete with lube, tissue paper & VR Headsets
Noah Cyrus: Moët & Chandon Impérial Ice Champagne 3L bottles recalled due to possible presence of hard drug MDMA (Ecstasy)
Miley Cyrus: Russian business offers $1 million Bounty on Putin’s head — ‘Wanted: Dead or alive. Vladimir Putin for mass murder’
Britney Spears: World Taekwondo revokes Putin’s honorary black belt & Joe Rogan’s Fake Report about Steven Seagal joining Russian Special Forces near Kyiv
