Gal Gadot: Goy married to a Jewess banned from leaving Israel for 8,000 years over child support payments
Pixie Lott: Sikh Terrorist with crossbow threatens to assassinate Queen to avenge Jallianwala Bagh massacre; made a Darth Vader Terror Video before breaking into Palace
Amber Heard: Elon Musk’s Evil Twin “Yi Long Musk” busted for record-breaking 1.3-ton haul of Ketamine and will be tried by AI Prosecutor, AI Jury, and an AI Judge
Lily Chee’s fanboy miraculously survives incredible moment an umbrella is vaporized into a ball of flames after struck by a bolt of lightning
Michelle Williams: COVID-19 outbreak at Las Vegas strip club after stripper squirted vaginal fluids onto eighteen clients
Heidi Klum: Two German dog owners engaged in a bloody brawl which culminated in one woman biting another while their dogs simply looked on as if nothing ever happens
Noel Berry’s Ohio fanboy has miraculous recovery after contracting COVID-19 during sex with infected dog
Carrie-Anne Moss: Don’t buy NFT, get the Holy Bible autographed by Jesus himself… Priceless Smart Investment handmade by God
Lily-Rose Depp: Dude ends up in Jail after Posing with Cash and Handgun in photo with Santa at Louisiana Mall
