Gwyneth Paltrow touts new Diamond-Encrusted Trepanation Drill & Drainage Bucket… inspired by Prince MBS aka Desert Taxidermist? 📂 Offbeat
Abby Elliott: Elon Musk will become a Cannibal because Space Colonists will likely resort to Cannibalism, scientist says 📂 Offbeat
Jessica Brown Findlay: Bank accidentally deposits $176 million into people’s accounts on Christmas Day 📂 Offbeat
Cobie Smulders: Mom finds Bonus Crystal Meth worth $120,609 in cereal box as she made breakfast for toddlers 📂 Scandal
Eliza Coupe: Don Jr. rails against “Cancel Culture”, urges conservatives to Ditch Peaceful Christian Rules since it’s “Gotten Us Nothing’, and to gang up against the “Institutions” 📂 Sociopolitics
Michelle Mylett: DEA releases Emoji Drug Decoder so as to provide “a better sense of how emojis can be used in conjunction with Illegal Drug Activity” 📂 Offbeat
Sarah Snyder: Tesla “Emissions” Bug causes Model 3 to Fart violently non-stop when doors are opened 📂 Offbeat
