Selena Gomez’s fanboy just released from jail for selling Crack to Cop is rearrested for Masturbating with Ice Pack to First Responders
Kanye West goes undercover in creepy mask, meeting Michael Cohen as his divorce from Kim Kardashian moves forward
Whitney Cummings: Secret Services arrest a naked 89-year old man for humping a statue in front of the White House
Sidney Starr: Australia is trying to vaccinate all of its Koalas against STD Chlamydia as the island suffers widespread Chlamydia Pandemic
Danielle Herrington: Shipwrecked Malaysian fisherman claims he was sexually assaulted by a great white shark
Bree Olson: Same-sex couple celebrates world’s first anal birth after successful rectal-ovary transplant
Ryan Starr’s Thai fanboy puts penis in tube to see if Penis Enlargement Injections is working – it works so well that his Lil Johnny got stuck in masturbation pipe
Inka Williams: Fetishist squirrel hunted down in Pittsburg after stealing hundreds of lace panties from clotheslines
Sophie Guillemin: Newly discovered species of cockroach named after Donald Trump by Mexican biologist
Bella Poarch’s Muslim fanboy ‘punished by God’ after contracting COVID-19 from used inflatable goat sex doll he bought on eBay
Olivia Wilde’s prophetic buddy — Wizard of New Zealand has just been fired by City of Christchurch after two decades of glorious Voodoo service
TikToker fan of Blanca Suárez makes a meal out of her husband’s $300,000 lucky Asian Arowana pet fish to teach him a lesson
