Natalie Dormer: Strippers can apparently better Forecast the Market than your Finance Bro

Forget about your Warrens Buffet or Elon Musk, no one knows the stock market better than your neighborhood stripper…

In a tweet that has since gone viral, a netizen who claims to be a stripper declared that we are currently in a recession based on the empty status of strip clubs.

The user @botticellibimo explained that,

“The strip club is sadly a leading indicator and i can promise y’all we r in a recession lmao — reversecowgirl69”

Yes, you know the market is gonna have a Super Bull Run when you see such activities in a strip club…

Strip club in Mexico

Since its posting on May 19, the tweet has garnered over 120,000 likes and nearly 15,000 retweets.

In a series of recent posts related to their original tweet, the user made their case, arguing that “Sex work has survived through every war, recession, decline of empires,” and pointing out that strip clubs have been “an operative tool” for business people, and not just a source of ‘sinful’ entertainment.

Referencing the 2001 Enron Corporation scandal, they claim strip clubs are where “energy salesmen bring their clients” and “recruiters bring prospective finance bros,” describing strip clubs and the world of business as “deeply integrated.”

As strippers, “we always have to be aware of fluctuations in the market and how upper class white men are behaving and spending their money,” the user continued. “Ask ANY stripper we have to be aware of how rich people are going to spend their money, stripping is betting on how the rich spend their money.”

“You’re gonna tell me that isn’t just a stock exchange?”

You know Recession Depression is ahead when you see chicks practicing pole dancing at home (so they can join the strip club) like this…

The user also made the point that company holiday parties, which take place in December when finance employees typically receive their end of year bonuses, “make up a large part of strip club revenue,” emphasizing again the inextricable connection between strip clubs and the condition of the market.

The person ended their series of tweets by concluding that, “every single stripper I know is a better trend forecaster than any finance bro or marketing exec.”

One user responded with a personal story, sharing that in early 2007, a friend who was stripping at the time told them “the club is way too dead for way too long,” and advised them to sell their stock then and buy it back after the market crashed.

“I thought she was crazy. but she did it, and she ended up almost doubling her money.”

Stripper does splits on stage

Natalie Dormer Anal Sex Tape Video

The video above appears to feature actress Natalie Dormer getting her ass stretched in an anal sex tape.

They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, and after looking into Natalie’s blasphemously blue eyes it is clear as day that she is a Satanic she-demon sent from the darkest depths of the eternal Hellfire to bewitch us virile Neonazis into banging her booty with our holy Nazi tunic snakes.

Yes, ever since Natalie revealed her wonky titties on “Game of Thrones” (as you can see in the color-corrected and enhanced video clip above) we knew that she was a dangerous shaitan who would stop at nothing to procure our pious manly essence… And Natalie offering up her anus hole in this sex tape is just the latest proof of this undeniable fact.