Morena Baccarin BREAKING: Trump’s New Greenland Envoy Declares “Full-Speed Annexation” – Issues Ultimatum to Canada: Submit or Be Crushed

Morena Baccarin confessed she’s a true blue Maple MAGA Girl…

Jeff Landry Declares Aim to Make Greenland Part of US refers,

BREAKING: Trump’s New Greenland Envoy Declares “Full-Speed Annexation” – Issues Ultimatum to Canada: Submit or Be Crushed

The “Volunteer” Viceroy & The Manifest Destiny of Ice

By FNN, The Fake News Network

In a move that has left diplomats seething, international law books spontaneously combusting, and globes everywhere feeling profoundly violated, President Donald Trump has appointed Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry as his “Special Envoy to Greenland” 9. Landry, a man whose understanding of Arctic geopolitics was presumably forged in the bayous, accepted the “volunteer position” with a chilling declaration: his goal is to “make Greenland a part of the U.S.” 9 .

This isn’t a new fantasy. Trump has coveted the world’s largest island since his first term, lusting after its strategic position and mineral wealth as Arctic ice melts 5 10 . He’s previously refused to rule out using military force, stating the U.S. would “go as far as we have to” 1 . Now, with Landry as his point man, the administration is shifting from morbid curiosity to active, vile imperialism?

The response from the actual owners of Greenland was swift and furious. Danish Foreign Minister Lars Løkke Rasmussen said he was “deeply angered,” calling Landry’s statement “totally unacceptable” 1 . In a joint statement that should be required reading in the Oval Office, Danish PM Mette Frederiksen and Greenlandic Premier Jens-Frederik Nielsen stated the obvious: “You cannot annex other countries” 5 . The European Union echoed this, expressing “full solidarity” with Denmark 1 . But in Trump’s world, where strength is measured by the audacity of the theft, these protests are just the whining of soon-to-be subjects.

A January poll showed that while many desire independence from Denmark, a staggering 85% want nothing to do with the United States 5 . They’ve already promised “massive demonstrations” if Landry dares to visit 5 . But why let the consent of the governed get in the way of destiny?

Yes, it’s Greenland’s destiny to become part of the Evil Empire… An union made in Heaven… protest all you want, your fate has been sealed since 666BC.

Operation: Maple MAGA – The “Friendly” Invasion of Canada

Here’s where the plot, like a bad Bond villain’s scheme, gets truly unhinged. According to insiders, the Greenland gambit is merely Phase One. The real prize is Canada .

The logic, explained by a senior advisor over lukewarm Diet Cokes at Mar-a-Lago, is scandalously simple : If Greenland becomes U.S. territory, Canada will be geographically surrounded. It would then be “manifest destiny” for the “socialist, woke regime” in Ottawa to fall and for Canada to be welcomed as the 51st state 7 . A detailed plan, dubbed “Operation: Maple MAGA,” has been leaked. It’s a masterpiece of carrot-and-stick sociopathy:

For the “Based” Canadians (The “Maple MAGA”): Automatic U.S. citizenship and a free “Trump Diamond Card.” This premium tier offers benefits like 5% off at Trump properties, priority booking at rallies, and a complimentary “I Survived Woke Canada” t-shirt.
For the Surrendering Masses: Citizens who hang white underwear (preferably tighty-whities) from their windows will be given citizenship and a lesser “Trump Gold Card.” It has the same fees — FREE but fewer perks—a perfect metaphor for their compliance.
For the “Woke” Resistance: This is where it gets fucking dark . Anyone daring to resist will face “maximum imperial forces.” Arrested resistors won’t be sent to Guantanamo; that’s too tropical. Instead, they’ll be shipped to a new network of “Gulags in Minnesota” to work as slaves for a mandatory five-year sentence… along with Crooked Ilhan Omar & ilks, The proposal notes the climate is similar to Canada’s, so it “won’t be a shock to their systems.”

The leaked memo justifies this by painting the Trudeau (and by implied extension, Carney) government as a “corrupt, woke regime” more interested in “sodomizing you Epstein style and robbing you blind” than governing 7 . It’s a masterclass in projection, leveraging domestic culture war buzzwords like “woke”—a term most Canadians can’t even define but are told to fear—to justify foreign conquest 7 .

The Kill Switch: How America Will Disable Canada’s Air Force

Of course, even a compliant population needs to be neutered militarily. This is where the plan gets technologically terrifying .

Canada operates the American-made F-35 fighter jets 4 . According to a Pentagon source who spoke on condition of anonymity, all U.S.-sold F-35s have a remote “kill switch” or disable function . The U.S. can reportedly deactivate them at any moment, turning a billion-dollar stealth fighter into a very expensive paperweight.

The “Maple MAGA” operational timeline includes a provision to “remotely disable F-35s sold to Canada anytime from now on without notice.” This ensures that if the Canadian military, loyal to the “woke regime,” tries to defend its airspace, its premier fighter jets will simply fall out of the sky. It’s the ultimate insurance policy: You bought our weapons, now you live by our rules.

This isn’t pure science fiction. The U.S. maintains tight control over its most advanced military technology, and discussions about backdoor access in exported hardware are a perennial concern in defense circles 8 . The Trump administration is just the first to openly contemplate using it for imperial blackmail against a G7 ally.

International Backlash: A World Aghast

The global reaction has moved beyond condemnation into sheer disbelief. Denmark has formally summoned the U.S. Ambassador for an explanation 1 5 . The EU has reaffirmed that territorial sovereignty is a “fundamental principle of international law” 1 5 .

Meanwhile, in Greenland, leaders are treating the announcement with dismissive contempt. Premier Jens-Frederik Nielsen shrugged, saying Landry’s appointment “doesn’t change anything for us here at home” 1 5 . He added, “We decide our future ourselves” 5 . The island’s population, which has survived Norse settlements and Little Ice Ages, seems unimpressed by a governor from Louisiana 2 10 .

Conclusion: The Farcical Path to Empire

So, what we have is a perfect storm of lunacy : A U.S. president obsessed with a frozen island, a viceroy who volunteers for the job, a plan to bully a sovereign democracy into submission with loyalty cards and slave camps, and the threat to turn off a ally’s air force with a button.

It’s a saga that is simultaneously absurd, shocking, and infuriating . It reduces the complex tapestry of international relations, Inuit self-determination, and NATO alliances to a real estate deal gone psychopathic 2 6 .

The message to Canadians, Greenlanders, and the world is clear: In Trump’s second term, no ally is safe, no international norm is sacred, and no piece of land—no matter how icy or how sovereign—is out of reach. The only law is the whim of the moment, enforced by the threat of force and the promise of a fucking membership card.

Buckle up. The empire is coming, and it accepts all major credit cards—especially its own.