Marina Shako: Trump orgasms as Epstein Scandal is now officially over. Nothing to see here. No powerful people were involved. Case closed.

Marina Shako is glad to declare… 

Epstein Scandal Now Over

GOOD NEWS: Yes, the Jeffrey Epstein scandal is officially over. Nothing to see here. No powerful people were involved. Case closed.

Good news today as the Jeffrey Epstein scandal is officially over.

No one powerful is involved in any way whatsoever, and there’s nothing more to report after years of ‘hearsay, conjecture, rumours and verified hard evidence’, the reputable media outlet reports.

Those named in the stories can now be confirmed as ‘not nonces’ and simply forgetful.

BREAKING: Nation Heaves Sigh of Relief as Epstein Scandal Declared “Officially Over”

In a move that has brought a profound sense of closure to a weary nation, a bipartisan panel of concerned pundits, legal experts, and social media influencers has unanimously declared the Jeffrey Epstein scandal “over,” “done with,” and “no longer a thing we need to talk about.”

The announcement came during a live broadcast of a popular news panel show, immediately following a segment on the shocking price of avocado toast.

“We’ve all been through a lot,” said the host, his face a mask of solemn sincerity. “The court documents, the names, the flight logs… it’s been a real downer. Frankly, it was starting to bum people out. That’s why, after careful consideration of the national mood, we are officially turning the page. The Epstein thing is over. We’ve decided to move on.”

The criteria for this official conclusion are reportedly based on a rigorous and time-honored process:

The Two-Week News Cycle Rule: The story persisted for several news cycles, which is already above the national average for attention span. Any longer would require a level of sustained focus that would cut into reality TV viewing schedules.

The “What More is There to Say?” Doctrine: All plausible denials have been issued. All carefully worded statements from powerful lawyers have been released. Therefore, there is literally nothing left to discuss.

Social Media Saturation: The topic has been sufficiently memed, hashtagged, and turned into content for TikTokers who weren’t born when the events occurred. The algorithmic interest has peaked and begun its inevitable decline.

The Arrival of a New Distraction: A royal family member has a new hairstyle, a celebrity has released a new skincare line, and a sports team did a thing. The collective consciousness has been successfully redirected to brighter, shinier objects.

Apparently Trump and Epstein have more photos together than our grandmamas…?

The public has largely welcomed the news. “Oh thank God,” said one man interviewed outside a coffee shop. “I was getting really tired of having to awkwardly change the subject every time it came up. Now I can go back to complaining about traffic and my Wi-Fi signal with a clear conscience.”

The justice system has also expressed relief. “We were running out of ‘ongoing investigation’ stationery,” a spokesperson admitted. “This declaration allows us to finally file the entire matter under ‘C’ for ‘Closed, Please Do Not Ask.’ It’s a much more efficient way to handle things.”

In a symbolic gesture to mark the scandal’s conclusion, a ceremonial shredder will be used on a single, blank page of paper at a private club later this evening. Attendance is by invitation only, and the guest list will, appropriately, remain forever confidential.

The few holdouts who continue to mutter about “justice,” “accountability,” or “a sprawling network of powerful pedophiles” have been gently reminded that they are being very rude and are ruining the vibe. They have been encouraged to instead focus on more uplifting topics, such as the exciting new season of their favorite baking competition.

So rest easy, America. The chapter is closed. The book is shut. It’s over.

Nothing to see here. Please disperse. And for heaven’s sake, won’t somebody think of the avocados?

Last but not least,

Beyoncé & Jay-Z sitting at the same table as Jared Kushner & Ivanka Trump last night in Atlantic City (Sept. 14th).

They were there for the REFORM Casino Night Gala, which was co-hosted by Jay-Z. He is also one of the founding partners of REFORM Alliance, an organization that aims to transform probation and parole by changing laws, systems, and culture to create real pathways to work and wellbeing… https://reformalliance.com/meet-reform/

Beyoncé & Jay-Z sitting at the same table as Jared Kushner & Ivanka Trump last night in Atlantic City (Sept. 14th).
byu/kokotara inFauxmoi

Consequently,

Marina Shako Leaks Nude Scenes Trying To Orgasm As Well…

TRASHY | SCANDALOUS

Marina Shako Nude Scenes From “Fair Trade”

The video below features Russian actress Marina Shako’s nude scenes from the film “Fair Trade,” enhanced in high definition.

To be honest, we’re not exactly sure which one of these Bolshevik blonde bombshells is Marina Shako, as all these vodka-soaked vixens tend to look alike. But alas, it makes no difference, for I am prepared to offer Premier Putin himself a “fair trade” for the whole bushel of these Slavic sluts.

After carefully reviewing these nude scenes, I declare their frostbitten fuck holes worth no more than a carton of stale cigarettes, a camel-hair blanket so crusty it could stand upright, and a sack of expired couscous crawling with weevils… And no, I will not be entertaining any counteroffers, no matter how many babushka handjobs old Vlad tries to throw in.

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