Kate Upton’s BREAKING: TRUMP unveils ‘Final Form’ of his Presidency: Full-Blown, TARIFF-Fueled COMMUNISM

Proud Commie Kate Upton be like… “Call me ‘Comrade’ from now on…”

BREAKING: TRUMP UNVEILS ‘FINAL FORM’ OF HIS PRESIDENCY: FULL-BLOWN, TARIFF-FUELED COMMUNISM

In a Stunning Reversal, The “America First” Patriot Adopts the Core Economic Policy of Marx, Lenin, and Santa Claus

Comrade Trump

Trump says he may cut income tax ‘completely’ because of tariff income

U.S. President Donald Trump said on Thursday his administration may slash income tax completely over the next couple of years because of government revenue generated from tariffs.

“Over the next couple of years, I think we’ll substantially be cutting and maybe cutting out completely, but we’ll be cutting income tax. Could be almost completely cutting it because the money we’re taking in is going to be so large,” Trump told U.S. military service members on a video call.

Newsom knew Trump has always been a Closet Commie…

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a prime-time address that sent shockwaves through the political stratosphere, former President Donald J. Trump announced a policy so radical, so utopian, and so batshit crazy that it has left economists, historians, and his own supporters questioning the very fabric of reality. The GOP’s standard-bearer, who once branded himself as a bulwark against socialism, has now thrown the gates open to its most extreme incarnation: Communism.

The catalyst for this ideological somersault? Trump’s belief that the massive revenue from his proposed universal tariffs on all imported goods will be so astronomically lucrative that he can, and we quote, “cut the income tax completely, maybe to zero.”

Let that sink in. No. More. Income. Tax.

This isn’t just a tax cut; this is the wet dream of every hammer-and-sickle-wielding revolutionary who ever stormed a palace. The foundational goal of communist theory, as outlined in Marx and Engels’ The Communist Manifesto, is the “abolition of private property” and, crucially, “a heavy progressive or graduated income tax.” The endgame of that revolution? A stateless, classless utopia where the government provides everything and income tax is a relic of bourgeois oppression.

Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has decided to simply skip the messy “revolution” and “dictatorship of the proletariat” parts and jump straight to the utopian finale. Why have a graduated income tax when you can have NO income tax? It’s the ultimate “skip ad” button for the American economy.

“I’m not a communist,” Trump declared, his face beaming with the serene confidence of a man who has just reinvented the wheel as a square. “The communists are the taxers. I’m the opposite. I’m giving you freedom. The freedom from the IRS. It’s going to be beautiful. The tariffs will pay for everything, and other countries will be so grateful to be doing business with us, they’ll be sending us thank you notes and big, beautiful checks.”

The announcement has sparked a firestorm of reactions, ranging from utter bewilderment to sheer, unadulterated fury.

“I feel a deep, personal sense of betrayal,” seethed a long-time donor from Mar-a-Lago, who requested anonymity while he frantically called his wealth manager. “We spent years calling the left commie pinkos, and now our guy is out-Maoing Mao. What the actual fuck? Is he going to nationalize the golf courses next and call them ‘people’s country clubs’?”

The scandal gets even juicier when you consider the sheer, pants-on-head lunacy of the math. According to non-partisan analysis, Trump’s tariff plan would be a catastrophic, self-inflicted economic wound.

A study from the Peterson Institute for International Economics found that the tariffs would “reduce US income” and be “net job killers.” The Tax Foundation estimates the policy would actually shrink the economy. It’s like promising to heat your home by setting your own cash on fire.

“It’s fucking shocking,” said Dr. Evelyn Richter, a political historian at Georgetown University. “We are witnessing the complete and total merger of satire and reality. Trump is essentially proposing ‘Communism for Thee, But Not for Me.’ The average American will get a small, visible income tax cut, while being absolutely hammered by a massive, hidden tax in the form of higher prices on everything from cars and groceries to medicine and clothing. It’s a massive wealth transfer from the poor and middle class to the government, which is precisely what the old Soviet central planners did. The irony is so thick you could build a wall with it.”

The emotional whiplash is palpable. Trump’s base, once fiercely anti-communist, is now being asked to embrace its core economic promise. Meanwhile, progressives are left in the bizarre position of having to defend the existence of the income tax—a system they’ve long argued should be more progressive—against a Republican who wants to abolish it for the most unworkable, fantastical reason imaginable.

One thing is clear: in the upside-down world of 2025, the man who railed against socialism has become its most flamboyant pitchman. He’s selling a utopia funded by a fantasy, and the American people are the ones who will be left holding the bag—a bag that will cost 30% more due to tariffs.