Ke$ha: You may have Jeff Bezos’ Penis for $69 + Winners of the World’s Longest & Shortest Dicks

Ke$ha Nip Slip

Yes. For real.

A small replica of Jeff Bezos’ penis-shaped rocket can be yours for $69

It actually flies… up to 400ft high
Estes, a company that sells model rocket engines, kits and accessories, has a new item for sale: a replica of Blue Origin’s New Shepard rocket, the very same one that took Blue Origin founder Jeff Bezos to space.
Yes, that means that you can now have a small (1/66 in size) version of the dick-shaped rocket for a sensual price of $69.99.
Why $69? Does that mean Jeff Bezos is a Pussy Eater? Or his dick measures 6.9 inches?

A more luxurious package is also available for $109.99, and it includes the New Shepard model rocket, a launch pad, a launch controller, a pack of Estes’ C5-3 engines, and a pack of recovery wadding. With these accessories, you can launch your little phallic rocket to an altitude of up to 400 feet, and it will deploy a small parachute so it doesn’t break on the way down.
Unfortunately, if you prefer the other spacefaring billionaire, Sir Richard Branson, who flew a little lower a little earlier than Bezos, you won’t be able to find a model of his rocket on Estes’ website. Tough luck, Branson fans.
Meanwhile,

Dude Conducts Penis Olympic Games For The Biggest Penis Size

One esteemed and noble TikToker Dylan Page (@dylanpage.ning) has opted to host a phallic Olympic event.
Winners of the Penis Olympics – that is the top three countries in the world based on average penis size are as follows:-

Moment of truth…

Coming in third place was the south American country of Bolivia, where supposedly the average length of a male penis is 6.5 inches when erect.
In second was Cameroon in Africa, with their men boasting an average penis size of 6.56 inches.
However, way out on top and taking home the gold medal are the people of Ecuador, also in south America, with their gents averaging out at 6.93 inches.

So there you have it. Any insecure men reading up to this point are now granted permission to get their rulers out and start measuring themselves.
It appears that Page has got his data from the World Population Review, which – for those wondering – has very clear notes on just how they collated this data.
“Measurements in the data provided are the length on the upper side of the penis from the root of the shaft to the tip of the glands,” the site reads.
It adds: “Figures in the data are for the average size of an erect penis. The erect length of a penis is about 1.5 times the length of a flaccid penis.
“This is because, during an erection, blood flows into the erectile tissue of the penis causing it to grow and harden.”
We didn’t even know such data actually exist… Looks like Homo Sapien has come a long way.
Anyway, Dylan is also equally obsessed with small dicks… So he has also compiled the top three countries with the smallest average penis length.

So, err, coming in to bronze medal in this category is Taiwan in Asia with an average length of 4.24 inches.
Taking the silver medal is Burma, with an average length of 4.21 inches.
Taking the perhaps more dubious top spot – although it is of course all about how you use it – is Cambodia with an average male penis length of 3.95 inches.

Looking at the numbers, it simply means you are a perfect ordinary dude if you got a dick measuring just about 3-4 inches… Anything longer is “Obese or Alien”?

Kesha posts sultry, NSFW topless photo on Instagram

📂 Sociopolitics