Just when you thought the United State of Pussy can’t go more hopeless that they will ban even harmless speech like “It’s all about Benjamin’s Baby.”, the lawmakers came back and surprise us as never before!
Now they want men to report to police when they ‘release sperm from their testicles’.
No, this is not satire.
Ireland Baldwin: “It’s as insane as the Benjamin’s Baby. This is Antisemitic!”
Bill Requires Men to Report to Police When They ‘Release Sperm From Their Testicles’
HB 604 states that “any male 55 years of age or older shall immediately report to the county sheriff or local law enforcement agency when such male releases sperm from his testicles.”
Amanda Seyfried in ‘The Way We Get By’: “There’s no sperm to begin with… The lil sperm usually end up in my tummy.”
According to the House website, HB 604 was introduced by Reps. Park Cannon (D-Atlanta), Renitta Shannon (D-Decatur), Donna McLeod (D-Lawrenceville), Sandra Scott (D-Rex) and Kendrick March 11.
It reads as follows:
To amend Chapter 1 of Title 35 of the Official Code of Georgia Annotated, relating to general provisions relative to law enforcement officers and agencies, so as to require certain males to report certain events to law enforcement; to provide for related matters; to repeal conflicting laws; and for other purposes.
BE IT ENACTED BY THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF GEORGIA:
Chapter 1 of Title 35 of the Official Code of Georgia Annotated, relating to general provisions relative to law enforcement officers and agencies, is amended by adding a new Code section to read as follows:9″35-1-23. Any male 55 years of age or older shall immediately report to the county sheriff or local law enforcement agency when such male releases sperm from his testicles.”
SECTION 2.
All laws and parts of laws in conflict with this Act are repealed.
Kendrick also write an op-ed piece for Newsweek titled “You want our wombs? We’re coming for your testicles.”
Joanna Kulig’s awesome boobs from Elles: “What Sperm?”
Emily Ratajkowski: “What does sperm look like?”
Susan Sarandon: “Next time say Got Milk? Not Got Sperm.”
Diora Baird: “Yay, I don’t have to stock up condom anymore…Joy to the world!”
“There are some that say “this isn’t a laughing matter” and they are right! Yet, HB 481 was rushed through the committee process, brought on the floor late into the hours of Crossover Day when bills have to pass to the other chamber, and passed the Georgia House of Representatives. So I agree it’s not a laughing matter—but neither is the government telling me when I must have a child.
Kendrick has been in the media lately after she called for a “testicular bill of rights” legislative package that would regulate the bodies of men. The legislation, which was proposed in response to an abortion bill that just passed the House, would:
- Require a man to get permission from their sex partner before they are able to obtain a prescription for Viagra or any other erectile dysfunction medication
- Ban vasectomy procedures in Georgia, with punitive measures that are listed in HB 481
- Make it an “aggravated assault” crime for men to have sex without a condom
- Require DNA testing when a woman is 6 weeks and 1 day to determine the father of the child who will “IMMEDIATELY” start paying child support
- Require a 24 hour “waiting period” for men to purchase any porn or sex toys in Georgia
Ggggooooodddd morning! Introducing my “testicular bill of rights” legislative package. You want some regulation of bodies and choice? Done! pic.twitter.com/5E8HBRSc9l
— Dar’shun Kendrick (@DarshunKendrick) March 11, 2019
Beverly D’Angelo: ” Do I shake like this after the humping session to see if there is any sperm ejected?”
Anne Hathaway: “Reporting Sperm? There is an app for that.”
Shanti Carson in shortbus: “Okay, You Must Report To Police For Releasing Sperm From Your Testicles!”