There are some noteworthy celebrity sex tapes out there, to be sure. Just not a whole lot that you’d actually want to … you know, sit down and watch.
If you have a lot else going for you, you don’t need to … you know.
Anyway, this being April Fools Day, there’s a lot of BS out there, from Ariana Grande nude hoaxes to unsubstantiated pregnancies, breakups and marriages.
You may read some crazy stuff today, but very little of it is real.
That shouldn’t stop you from dreaming, however. Here are 13 celebrity sex tapes you only wish would mysteriously leak on the Internet one sexy day …
Beloved by men and women alike, approachable and yet otherwordly, genuine, talented and personable as well as beautiful, Jennifer Lawrence is uniquely lusted after.
1. Jennifer Lawrence
Beloved by men and women alike, approachable and yet otherwordly, genuine, talented and personable as well as beautiful, Jennifer Lawrence is uniquely lusted after.

2. Channing Tatum
You watched Magic Mike, which is basically halfway there, ladies. Don’t act so shocked.
4. Ian Somerhalder
One has to assume there would be biting involved.
5. Kate Upton
Kate Upton will never make a sex tape, but here’s an astonishing naked GIF at least. You are so very welcome, fellas.
6. Charlie Sheen
Not only is Charlie Sheen engaged to a porn star, he is the Warlock. Who wouldn’t watch his drug-fueled freak-fest, just to see what levels of depraved lunacy would ensue?
7. Katy Perry
She once rated herself a 10/10 in bed. Just sayin’.

8. Rihanna
She and Drake would totally pay random strippers to perform in the background of their romp.
9. Brangelina
A Brangelina sex tape would be eye-popping for more reasons than their obvious good looks and chemistry. The tabloids would collectively flip out over the new material they just got for Jennifer Aniston articles.

10. Kate Middleton
Two words: ROYAL SCANDAL.

11. Lena Dunham
Every episode of HBO’s Girls is pretty much a Lena Dunham sex tape. Imagine the kind of f–ked up s–t she does in the privacy of her own home.
12. Ryan Gosling
We are required by the laws of the Internet to include Ryan Gosling on any list of this nature.

13. Miley Cyrus
This one feels almost inevitable.

14. Kim Kardashian (Bonus)
Okay, there’s already a Kim Kardashian sex tape, with Ray J. But can you imagine if the sequel co-starring Kanye hit the web today? The Internet as we know it would break. Full-on implode.
ExtraΒ Bonus
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