Samsung Apex smartphone is so smart that it will actually suck your dick

There’s nothing the new Samsung Apex can’t do. The smartphone lets you check your email, stream video, and it even sucks your dick. Seriously, smartphones these days are just full-service products. The Onion’s take on smartphone market one-upsmanship obviously takes things to an unhinged level. But at least Samsung wouldn’t be stepping on anybody’s patent. We think.

New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick
[TheOnion]