By Liz Newman
First of all, that’s nonsense. What you do — or who you do — is entirely within your right, and no one (including you!) should make you feel bad about it. Just remember what Salt-N-Pepa said: “If I want to take a guy home with me tonight… It’s none of your business.” Plus, who’s to say a one-night stand can’t turn into more? You honestly never know.
The older I get, the more I realize that sometimes sex is just sex. It doesn’t always have to be this end all be all, long drawn out thing that spawns a series of questions and expectations. Sometimes it’s just two people caught up in the moment, and that “moment” just happens to be the only thing those two people have in common.
That’s totally OK… healthy even! Does it mean sex isn’t even better when it’s with someone you love? Of course not. At the end of the day, that’s what a lot of people want — including myself. But what it does mean is don’t feel bad about itching that annoying little scratch, because it can feel pretty damn good.
One-night stands can also be like going back to school in the sense you actually learn a lot from the experience itself. See for yourself:
1. You May Not Actually Feel Nothing
Sex without emotions isn’t possible for everyone — as much as we’d like it to be sometimes. After all, you did share a connection with this person — a sexual one. So just embrace that side of it, and know lust isn’t the easiest thing to find, either.
2. If You’re Not Into The Foreplay, You Don’t Have To Do It
One time, I went home with this guy. We started hooking up, and it was just terrible. I chalked it up to nerves, gave it a couple more attempts, until I realized it just wasn’t going to improve. So when this guy went to get a condom, I got up, put my clothes back on on, and left. If it’s not hitting the spot, then what’s the point?
Brazilian actress Daniela Dams shows off her…landing strip
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3. First-Name Basis Is All You Need
Odds are if this is a legit one-night stand, meaning it’s just a one-time thing, you may not get into a lot of pillow talk; and that’s OK. You don’t need to know where this person went to school, what they do for a living, or even their last name (because that leads to internet stalking) — don’t feel like you have to.
4. You Feel Empowered To Let Your Freak Flag Fly
One of the best parts about a one-night stand, is you can be truly uninhibited. Try out some new things, get creative… have sex the way you want to; take control. Sometimes it’s a lot easier to let your your freak flag fly if you’re pretty sure you’ll never see this person again.
5. Bring Your Own Condoms
Not to sound like your mom, but to sound like your mom, don’t rely on someone else for condoms. Even if you think condoms are the worst, and may not have used them in a while, they’re basically a necessity for a one-night stand — and it’s better than heading out to the nearest convenient store mid-foreplay. If you haven’t picked up any in a while, remember, some are better than others.
6. They’re Not For Everyone
You support them and encourage your friends to have them, but the truth is, one-night stands are not for everyone. And that’s totally OK. Some people need more familiarity, comfortability, or commitment to fully enjoy themselves in the bedroom. And, if you get emotionally attached easily, don’t feel embarrassed about that. You don’t need to make one-night stands or casual sex work for you to be sex-positive. What matters most is that you do what’s best for you.
7. Not Having An Orgasm Is NBD
Yes, one-night stands are all about pleasure, but don’t make having an orgasm your main focus. It can be difficult to achieve an orgasm during sex, even when you’re feeling a little extra uninhibited. But that doesn’t mean you still can’t enjoy the hell out of this romp!
Want more of Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out the video on sex positions to help him last longer:
Angela Martini
Amandine Maugy in LE HOBBY (2008)