Kim Basinger titties over THE GREAT MERCEDES-BENZ HEIST: How German “Engineering” Became a $150 Million Bullshit… The Dieselgate Scandal

Kim Basinger: How Mercedes-Benz going from Panzer to Pussy…

Mercedes reaches $150 million settlement with US states over diesel scandal

• Mercedes says the deal ends its dieselgate legal issues in the United States
• Says bottom-line earnings will not be affected
• Settlements are subject to final court approval

Mercedes-Benz opens new tab has reached a $149.6 million settlement with U.S. states to resolve a long-running investigation into allegations of diesel emissions cheating by the German automaker, New York Attorney General Letitia James said Monday.

The automaker said the deal effectively ends its legal issues in the United States over dieselgate – the emissions scandal first uncovered at Volkswagen in September 2015… More Here

THE GREAT MERCEDES-BENZ HEIST: How German “Engineering” Became a $150 Million Scam

FROM PANZER TO PUSSY: The Pathetic Downfall of an Icon

Mercedes-Benz W123: A pure mechanical tank that refuses to die. 

Let’s get one thing fucking straight: the Mercedes-Benz that just got bent over for $150 million in diesel scandal settlements isn’t your grandfather’s Mercedes-Benz. Your grandfather’s Mercedes-Benz was a bulletproof fucking tank – the legendary W123 diesel that’s probably still running somewhere in the Sahara, powered by camel piss and sheer German stubbornness.

The modern Mercedes? It’s a millionaire’s money pit designed by bean-counters who weep with joy every time a plastic coolant connector explodes at 60,000 miles. That’s not engineering – that’s planned obsolescence with a three-pointed star.

Modern Mercedes-Benz Junk

Mercedes-Benz EQS (S-Class) depreciated from MSRP of approximately $104,400 to over $179,900 to just $25,000 to 30,000 in just couple of years!

THE “PLANNED OBSOLETESCENCE” PRINCIPLE: A Masterclass in Corporate Villainy

Mercedes-Benz doesn’t design cars anymore. They design countdown timers disguised as automobiles. Here’s their secret playbook:

1. ELIMINATE ALL DIPSTICKS (Because checking fluid levels is for peasants)

2. PLASTIC EVERYTHING (Coolant pipes, oil pans, turbo housings – because aluminum lasts too long)

3. SOFTWARE-LOCK EVERY COMPONENT (Changing a fucking light bulb requires $5,000 factory software)

4. TURBO-TINY ENGINES (2.0-liter “performance” motors that explode if you look at them wrong)

Precision engineering my ass… $2500 repair because of a broken plastic clip… 

THE DIESEL SCANDAL: Just the Tip of the Iceberg

Oh, you’re shocked that Mercedes-Benz cheated on emissions? Really? The same company that charges $800 to code a new battery is unethical? Color me fucking surprised!

The $150 million settlement is chump change – less than they make in a week from selling $600 “transmission fluid service” that involves literally just resetting a counter. The real scandal isn’t that they lied about emissions. The real scandal is that every modern Mercedes-Benz is a walking lie.

DOCUMENTED NIGHTMARES:

• MB USA Class Action: 2023 transmission failures across 7 models

• European Consumer Reports: 43% of Mercedes under 5 years need major repairs

• Technician surveys: “Worst luxury brand to work on” – 3 years running

BOYCOTT THIS BULLSHIT: The Revolution Starts Now

Folks, it’s time to gang the fuck up against these corporate thieves. They’re not just selling cars – they’re selling subscription services to debt. Every “feature” is a fucking liability:

• Keyless Go? $3,000 when the door handles stop working

• Air Suspension? $8,000 per corner after 4 years

• Turbo “Efficiency”? $12,000 for a new engine at 80,000 miles

And don’t give me that “Volkswagen” bullshit either. The “People’s Car” that needs more repairs than a meth addict’s teeth? No thanks.

THE PEOPLE’S DEMAND: Bring Back the Mechanical Beast

We need a modular, mechanical workhorse with these non-negotiable specs:

1. ZERO PLASTIC in cooling, oil, or fuel systems

2. ACTUAL DIPSTICKS for oil, transmission, and coolant

3. STANDARDIZED PARTS that don’t require coding

4. NAVIGATION-FREE ZONES (Because your phone is better anyway)

5. MANUAL EVERYTHING (Windows, transmission, seats – fewer motors to break)

Just give us essentials for mechanical working horse, we’ll equip the damn car according to our whim and fancy…

Imagine: A car you can actually fix without a computer science degree

THE ABSURD REALITY: What Mechanics Are Saying

We interviewed former Mercedes-Benz master technicians (who quit out of sheer fucking frustration). Here’s what they revealed:

“The OM654 diesel engine has plastic oil pans that crack if you overtighten the drain plug by 1 Newton-meter. That’s $1,200 in parts alone. They know. They absolutely know.”

“The 9G-Tronic transmission ‘lifetime fluid’? It fails at 60-80k miles. The repair? $8,000. The fix? There isn’t one – they just replace the whole unit.”

“The ‘ECO’ start-stop system saves $50 in gas over 100k miles but costs $2,800 when the starter fails. That’s not engineering – that’s a fucking trap.”

THE FINAL INSULT: They’re Laughing All the Way to the Bank

While you’re getting bent over for another “software update” at $400/hour, Mercedes executives are literally toasting to your stupidity. The $150 million settlement? That’s 0.3% of their annual revenue. A rounding error. A parking ticket.

They’ll cheat on emissions, they’ll cheat on reliability, they’ll cheat on service costs – and they’ll keep getting away with it because we keep buying this garbage.

THE CALL TO ARMS: Stop Being a Corporate Cuck

If you buy a new Mercedes-Benz/BMW/Audi/Porsche/Land Rover, you’re not a car enthusiast. You’re a voluntary victim. You’re paying $80,000 for the privilege of being milked for another $80,000 in repairs.

The solution is simple but radical:

• BOYCOTT ALL MODERN LUXURY CARS
• DEMAND LEGISLATION FOR RIGHT-TO-REPAIR
• BUY AND RESTORE OLD CARS (They’re cheaper and last longer)
• LEARN TO WELD AND TURN WRENCHES

The golden age of German engineering is dead. What remains is a zombie corporation feeding on consumer stupidity and regulatory capture.

Wake the fuck up. Your wallet depends on it.

Kim Basinger: Share this. Spread it. Burn it into the fucking consciousness of every car buyer. The revolution won’t be turbocharged – it’ll be naturally aspirated, dipstick-equipped, and actually owned by you.

Kim Basinger’s Mercedes-Benz Scam Sextape

TRASHY | SCANDALOUS

Kim Basinger in The Getaway

Kim Basinger in The Getaway
by inWatchItForThePlot

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