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Every Nipple And Butt In ‘Fifty Shades’

We Counted Every Nipple And Butt In ‘Fifty Shades’ So You Don’t Have To

Let’s leave emotion out of this.
by  
Fifty Shades boosts sales of duct tape, cable ties and rope
Just another day on the set of 50 Shades of Gray. 

Vidcap from an episode of the Starz cable channel series “Spartacus: Vengeance.” Yep, the Starz people could flat-out HANDLE the raunch in Fifty Shades of Gray.
There are a lot of burning questions about the film adaptation of “Fifty Shades Of Grey.” Questions that burn hotter and redder than the shame we feel, the delicious awful shame of knowing – oh crap – that MTV News got to see a screening of the movie earlier this week.But with that knowledge comes jealousy, regret, and other emotions, as there are questions that need to be answered. Just how much sex is in “Fifty Shades Of Grey?” Does Anastasia say “holy crap” a lot, just like she does in the book? And what of her inner goddess?Don’t worry, Slim Shadeys (that’s what fans are called, right?), we did the hard work for you. So here’s the pleasurable release: before the movie hits theaters on February 13, find out just exactly what you’re in store for with our by-the-numbers infographic. Because MTV News doesn’t do romance.
“All right! All right! I’ll sign the friggin’ contract!” 
“You understand, I wouldn’t do this with just ANY billionaire!” 
“Do it again! Do it again! Do it again! You’re a billionaire — think of me as the American electoral process post “Citizens United”! 
An ordinary dom does well to hit the G-spot. But Fingers MacFarlane could hit a woman’s A,B,C,D,E,F and G spots all at the same time! 
When’s the last time you ever saw this in a mainstream movie? Never? Thought so! 

Ride ’em, cowgirl!

Quite possibly inspired by the Story of O. By the way, that’s Ksenia Solo clone Ashphyxia Noir hanging in those ropes and getting her brains trained out.

Guess which slave girl is the birthday girl?
Women: Horny Trumps Disgust: Why The Human Race Exists, Really!

As a matter of fact, I AM feeling moderately less disgusted! Let’s do it some more, I had no idea not being disgusted felt so very, very good!
“No, no! Please … not Brahms’ Sonata No. 3 in F Minor!”*

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