Charli XCX considering suicide as Chinese authorities seize 12 tons of her favorite tonic sausage smuggled from Canada — Beaver Penises

Apparently Charli XCX can’t live without munching at least one penis every other full moon. She is particularly fond of beaver penis for some reasons. However, the Chinese authorities later clarify the seizure is not against Charli XCX (personally) but as as a pre-emptive measure to secure food to weather the coming winter which is expected to be extra harsh due to hyperinflation and climate change caused by the Satanic Empire of America… It’s matter of national security, you see?

Chinese authorities seize 12 tons of beaver penises smuggled from Canada

Chinese customs officers seized over 12 tons of illegally trafficked beaver genitals in the country’s biggest-ever smuggling case involving animal parts.

A total of 94 bags holding thousands of penises each were seized onboard a Canadian ship transporting mostly wood products and minerals.

Approximately 400,000 to 600,000 beavers must have been killed to produce the 12.7 tons of penises, Xinhua News Agency reports.

According to state media, beaver penises are used in traditional Chinese medicine to cure erectile dysfunction and increase sexual vigor.

The Chinese General Administration of Customs gave a long press conference this morning to justify why it seized what many Chinese perceive as legitimate medicine.

“It’s probably enough medicine to give an entire generation some erections worthy of bulls, but it comes from shady sources and could also be dangerous”

Based on reported black-market prices for the scales, the customs agency estimates the seized penises would have been worth more than $24 million.

“The investigation to identify the criminal organization behind this smuggling operation is still underway but it was dealt a serious economic blow today.”

Beaver and deer penises from North America are openly sold in Chinese traditional medicine stores throughout the country, even if most of them come from the black market.

China is by far the world’s largest market for animal parts trafficking.
Experts estimate the market value of animal parts illegally imported on the Chinese market between 40 and 50 billion US$.

Several species all over the planet face extinction because poachers overhunt them to satisfy the Chinese market, including rhinos, pangolins and Siberian tigers.

Meanwhile,

Xi Jinping prays Ukrainians will forgive Russian and become BFF again…

‘Localized’ Armor of Russian trucks?

Proof Russian soldiers DIDN’T LOOT Ukrainian store?

So, those Russian Soldiers Looting, Raping, etc… is now Highly Suspicious — Fake News.

Charli XCX Is All Sideboob at the Brit Awards, Worries She’ll Have a bullshit Nip Slip

Charli XCX flashed so much sideboob on the red carpet at the Brit Awards that even she worried she’d have a wardrobe malfunction

Charlotte Emma Aitchison

Charlotte Emma Aitchison better known by her stage name Charli XCX, is an English singer and songwriter.
Born 2 August 1992 (age 22)
Stevenage, Hertfordshire, England
Genres
Pop punk dark pop electropop witch house
Occupation(s) Singer, songwriter
Years active 2008–present
Labels
Orgy Music This Is Music Asylum Atlantic IAMSOUND
Website www.charlixcxmusic.com

TRASHY

Asses out in public

Road rage

Eyes on the road?