by Jancy Richardson
Fifty Shades fever has reached its logical, shuddering conclusion: a woman has been arrested for masturbating in the cinema during a screening of Fifty Shades of Grey.
La Verdad reports that the flustered female was caught red-handed in the 12th row of a cinema in Sinaloa, Mexico when outraged patrons sensed something fishy was going on. The 33-year-old onanist was ousted and – get this – clapped in handcuffs, which may have been her aim all along…
Show me how you pleasure yourself β¦ Keep still β¦ Weβre going to have to work on keeping you still, baby β¦ Letβs see if we can make you come like this β¦
It makes you think – this lady may be the first fapper to be arrested, but surely there are many other furtive fidgeters who’ve gotten away scot-free…
I’m a little disappointed that no news sources have reported which touching scene it was that prompted this bout of mommy-porn masturbation: was it the feather tickling? The belt bashing? The sight of Christian Grey’s fabulous wealth – oh, come on, that’s the kind of cash that opens anyone’s pants.
I guess, considering that a woman was recently arrested for stabbing a man with a glass bottle at a screening of Fifty Shades of Grey, this lady’s self-pleasuring is not the worst thing one could witness in the theater…