Good News: Tinder Works For Casual Sex. Bad News: STD Rates Are Officially Out Of Control
Rhode Island’s Department of Health says that sexually transmitted diseases are way up in the state, in part because of the increase of hookup apps like Tinder.
Sara Sampaio on a jet ski
Between 2013 and 2014, cases of syphilis grew by 79%. HIV infections were up 33% and gonorrhea cases increased by 30%. STD cases for young adults are growing at a faster rate than the rest of the population.
Rhode Island says the recent uptick in STD cases follows a national trend. The state’s health department blamed “high-risk behaviors that have become more common in recent years,” including “using social media to arrange casual and often anonymous sexual encounters.”
A spokesman for Tinder did not respond to a request for comment.
A 2013 New York University study found that Craigslist was responsible for a 16% increase in HIV cases between 1999 and 2008 across 33 states. Grinder, a hookup app for gay men, was associated with more than half of all syphilis cases in New Zealand in 2012, according to Christchurch Sexual Health Clinic.
Ha suck it, gays (not literally….maybe literally), the straights are back in the syphilis business and business is A-BOOMIN’. Granted Rhode Island is clinically proven to be sexual as hell — exhibit A: this couple banging on a street — but a 79% increase in syphilis and a very respectable 30-33% in gonorrhea and HIV? Safe to say the straight kids of Tinder are killing it out there. Maybe all that stuff I thought about chicks being all show no go in regards to butt stuff was wrong? Really throwing me a curve here. The important thing is that the system works and the only thing stopping you is your own laziness, not the cottage cheese leaking from your genitalia at any given moment.
But I guess the main lesson here is to wrap it up always. Unless a girl swears she’s on the pill, takes it on time each day, and says “Do you have a condom?” first before sex because what girl with an STD would be concerned about YOU having a condom? Think about it. “Fool proof plan, Spags, thanks for teaching me all about responsible sex via Internet app.” – everyone.
Milla Jovovich
Sheila Landry
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