Only exclusive bandwidth can deliver realistic i-orgasm?
Maybe Porn Stars Will Help You Finally Understand Net Neutrality [VID]
Getting everyone to care about—or even understand—net neutrality is tough. Thankfully, someone had the great idea to recruit porn stars to make the issue seem a little, er, sexier.
Funny or Die got adult film actresses Alex Chance, Mercedes Carrera, and Nadia Styles to break down President Obama’s net neutrality proposal. The future of open internet has significant implications for the adult entertainment industry, after all. All of that porn you’re streaming on those long, lonely nights in your bedroom actually takes a lot of bandwidth. That those videos stream so smoothly is a miracle of modern connectivity. But if it was up to your ISP, your connection might get throttled unless you pay for faster speeds. Or an ISP might force porn websites to pay big to make their packets travel fast enough to make streaming porn feasible.
A world without net neutrality would suck. Because when you’re ready to go, who wants to wait for the video to buffer?
Top Ten Porn Stars to Watch Out for at EXXXotica 2014
1. Tori Black
Tori Black is certainly one to watch in the adult film industry. She’s the first person in history (suck it, Cleopatra) to win two back-to-back AVN Female Performer of the Year awards.
In 2010, she was also named the most “facially attractive” female performer in the adult film industry by Loaded Magazine. Despite the fact that that award sounds like it was chosen by a panel of esteemed serial killers, we can assure that it’s an honor.
Best Movie Title: There Will Be Cum 13 (Daniel Day-Lewis would be proud.)
2. Lexi Belle
Standing at five-foot-three, Lexi Belle could easily fit in most overhead compartments. Named by CNBC as one of the 12 most popular stars in porn, Lexi is proof that size isn’t everything and that CNBC is desperately running out of shit to talk about.
Best movie title: Sailor Poon: A XXX Interactive Parody
3. Stormy Daniels
Stormy doesn’t just act in adult films. She also directs them. Her directorial work has earned her four AVN nominations, including one for Best Safe Sex Scene (we’re assuming it took place in a room made of pillows).
She’s also made her way into some big movies too. Daniels had a brief appearance in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, playing a porn star, and also smashed her breasts against Seth Rogan’s face in Knocked Up.
After starring in countless hours of adult films, though, still — to this day — the worst thing she’s ever done on camera is talk to Dr. Drew.
Best Movie Title: Good Will Humping
4. Allie Haze
This Penthouse Pet of the Month is somewhat of a rookie, having been in the adult film industry only since 2009.
However, she’s had no trouble achieving success because she’s cute as a button! (And almost has as many active holes.)
Best Movie Title: I Like Black Boys 11 (We call this progress.)
5. Raven Rockett
This dark-haired vixen is surely responsible for some middle-school erections.
She also likes to rock out. And she’s not half bad either.
Best Movie Title: Lucious Lesbians: Exploring Siri (Hide yo iPhones!)
6. Roberta Gemma
Born in Marino, Italy, Roberta Gemma is smooth and sexy like a fancy bottle of olive oil. You might have some trouble communicating with her, but we’re guessing you’re doing most of the communicating with your eyes.
Best Movie Title: Lesbo Italia (I’m pretty sure you can order this at Olive Garden.)
7. Gaia
Gaia was one of our favorites to chat with at last year’s convention. She was such a sweetheart and so genuinely proud of her ability to do a certain shocking thing involving her mouth.
Her smile is infectious! (We hope nothing else is.)
Best Movie Title: Asian Persuasion 2
8. Teagan Presley
This tatted-up blond is every guy’s bad-girl fantasy. Sure, she might steal your identity before hopping on a flight to New Mexico, but it would be totally worth it.
Best Movie Title: Slut Puppies 2 (The controversial sequel to Beverly Hills Chihuahua.)
9. Adriana Chechik
Don’t let the innocent good looks of this star fool you. She does some things that were illegal in the ’50s. However, she did play Cha Cha in a porn adaptation of Grease so raunchy that it would make John Travolta’s laminated ball of mozzarella he calls a face crinkle in shock.
10. Tory Lane: loves anal sex
This hometown gal was born in Fort Lauderdale and actually used to tend bar at the Elbo Room. We couldn’t be prouder of our own Tory Lane, who has two AVN awards, for Best POV Sex Scene and Best Group Sex Scene sitting on her mantel.
From the Elbo Room to elbow deep, keep up the good work, Tory!