Paige Spiranac: Sex Tape leaked in protest of Tiger Woods’ priestly vow of Celibacy… “No Sex until the tournament is over!”
Sabrina Carpenter: Israel deploys ‘Lavender’ AI Killer Robot to direct IDF’s bombing spree in Gaza on ‘Autopilot’… Ultimate Inhumanity
Selena Gomez: Ringleader of global Monkey Torture network — ‘The Torture King’ is Charged for heinous crime against ‘Monkeykind’
Bree Olson: Heinz is guilty of Holocaust Denial, sorry, it’s Shrinkflation Denial — Reduction the Number of BEANs in a tin Doesn’t Count
Angelina Jolie: Swans Charged by Police after finding them Guilty of ‘Conduct Unbecoming’ with Cocaine
Marisa Tomei: Diddy cries ‘Witch Hunt’ as Feds arrested his Sons (Justin & King) and ‘Drug Mule’ in Military style amid Sex Trafficking probe… Deep Shit Trouble!
Kate Moss: Engineers blame $3m Structural ‘FLAW’ for Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key bridge Collapse… and Tens of Thousands of Bridges across US could also have fault!
Brenda Song: Albuquerque VIP Spa Shuttered for Spreading HIV with their ‘Vampire Facials’ — a dramatized version of “Happy Ending” service
Amanda Bynes: Rose Hanbury, Marchioness of Cholmondeley, Accused of Possessing LOOTED Chinese Artifacts